Act 4 Part 4
As it turns out, I must have stopped as a really bad place last time. Upon continuing my reading, I have discovered that immediately after that last animation, we get to see not only the Homestuck interpretation of the author, but he gives us a detailed recap of what's happened thus far. Needless to say, I skipped much of it because that's an awful lot of writing to read, but I DID read bits and pieces that confirmed some of my prior accusations about Spades and the Black Queen and such. So yeah, Jack is Spades. Black Queen is Snowman (or the 8 bitch). I also found out though (something I didn't exactly catch on to), but during the intermission, we saw Spades examining a tv screen with a troll on it, similar to what we witnessed when WV was guiding John. According to this recap, I guess Spades is this specific troll's exile-guide-person. (the name still hasn't been given in the friggin comic so I'm still withholding such knowledge *facepalm*).
Now the thing that's still confusing me is the timeline with these exiles. I assume the exiles are in the future, which I'm more than positive is the correct assumption. What's getting me is who came first. Spades? Or Jack Noir? I suppose logic would tell me that Spades was first, but then through some turn of events he became Snowman's lacky. But that still confuses things. The last we saw of Spades, he lost an arm and had a hideous scar on his face...as Jack Noir, his arm is still intact and he has no scar (as a matter of fact, Snoman, now the Black Queen, has a scar on HER face though). But what if it was the other way? What if he was Jack Noir before he was Spades? That wouldn't make sense, because as Jack Noir, he killed the Black Queen and turned into something bird thang, therefore bringing up the problem that Snowman shouldn't have been alive.
Whatever thinking about it gives me a headache...
I guess Homestuck doesn't follow the typical norm and DOESN'T end an Act with its recap. Instead, we truck straight on forward into story. What happens? Well, John winds up in Rose's house but Rose is asleep, but then he answers a troll as Rose and... gaaaah we see some trolls, whose names we're still unaware of, and we see Mom, Dad, and Grandfather...yeah.... they're running around doing who knows what.
Holy guacamole, a whole lotta other shit happens that I can't even hope to explain clearly and we find out WV used to be a farmer who's farm got destroyed by a war between the White King's forces and the Black King's forces! He somehow got the solders from both sides to rebel against the Black King, and just as they were going to attack, Jack-crazy-ass-bird-thing come flying in and kills the king. During this time, PM gets whatever item she meant to acquire from the White King...and a whole lot of pretty colors flash through the screen.
Act 4 Part 5...Will it never end?
JK, I'm finished, it's DONE! ACT 4 IS DONE! *weeps with joy* these acts are so long! b...b..but I made it! I MADE IT TTwTT ....wait a minute (you'll see in a few minutes)
*ahem* In any case...my reaction.
Although a lot of things seemed to happen in this last leg of Act 4, my brain still refuses to comprehend most of what I have read. As is the norm with this series...
In any case, the majority of this final section follows John and his escapades screwing around while being harassed by still unnamed troll. John, in his special little way, messes around with a computer and winds up creating multiple younger versions of himself plus the other kids (which I wish to point out are flipping adorable!) So cute *w* And of course John is such a terrible parent. One of the John babies turns out to be your every day gunslinger, talented enough for double pistol action and somehow winds up killing a man (who has a striking resemblance of Albert Einstein).
Now we find out that all the babies are somehow hurtled into the past from unnamed troll and that they grow up into the kids we've become familiar with. This presents a problem: there are eight babies and four children... obviously four of these eight babies turn into the children we know, but what about the other four? Well, if what I saw actually happened, Gunslinger John baby and Dirty hat Jade baby (if you read it, you'll get this reference) get sent back to 1910, which is hella earlier than when the children are said to be "born." This is also when we watch Gunslinger John baby mercilessly slaughter Einstein in a fit of blood lust rage. We are then hurdled 13 years into the future where these two particular babies are now older. We watch Gunslinger John Adolescent as he takes leave from Dirty hat Jade Adolescent...but we don't see anything after that. In short, we still don't know what relevance the extra babies hold. We have yet to see what happens to the Extra Spikey Hair Dave baby and Has Mom's Hair Rose baby.
I did have a theory that these extra babies would grow up into the guardians the children have... I mostly formed this hypothesis because the one Rose baby's hair was exactly like Mom's and because the two earlier mentioned babies were sent to the year 1910...but then I remembered: Mom = girl, Dad = guy, Bro = guy, Grandpa = guy ... Now unless there's some sort of secret Jade's hiding from us, there's no way that two girl babies and two boy babies can turn into one girl guardian and three boy guardians. It just doesn't make sense, unless again, someone's got a secret....then I also realized, the only guardian who technically could have been "born" in 1910 would have been grandpa...and even that's pushing his age...but then again, with all this time paradox nonsense, anything could happen.
Another thing that happened is that my earlier inquiry about Jack and Spade has been officially answered. Before reading the rest of this act, I asked my roommate to explain it to me, but I waited to mention it until I physically read the reasoning.
While Unnamed Troll is trolling John, we find out that Jack in Spade aren't actually the same person. They're, in a sense, the same person, but at the same time they're not. A better way to explain it is this (hopefully): The trolls and the human kids live in two separate "realities", if you will. Both realities are different for obvious reasons, but the process of events pertaining to certain things runs parallel with one another (such as the kids and the game, we find out that the trolls experienced something similar beforehand). If we compared these "realities" to a video game, then that would make Jack/Spades an NPC who's scripted to show up during the gameplay. Jack Noir shows up in the kids' reality and the trolls' reality, but his role switches between the two realities.
In the troll world, Jack (or Spades) plays a more heroic role. He helps the trolls overthrow one queen (if I remember right) and I can assume that these events can only lead to what we read during the Intermission. And according to unnamed troll, this particular Jack is the one we catch a glimpse of as an exile (whom we find out earlier were "exiled" to the desolate and mostly destroyed future human world for whatever reason).
In the human world, we have the Jack Noir who's running around in clown garb. He's the one who kills the Black Queen and, upon taking her ring, turns into a freakish monster and also kills the Black King and now he's some ungodly creature reeking havoc on everybody or something like that. Whatever it is, we find out from unnamed troll that this is ultimately what leads to the children's apparent future failure (which the trolls were more than willing to remind us of through multiple conversations).
So there you have it, the different between Jack and Spades...if I explained it correctly.
Oh boy, and the final animation...on...my...I...don't...even.
To my horror but also simultaneous excitement, we have another con air reference...my expressions reflecting on this video can only be conveyed through me mutilating screen caps of this entire animation *ahem*
The video opens with a shot of a Con Air poster, but then we jump to the two Rose babies
"Aww! CUTE *w*"
Genuine content-ness quickly shifts to horror as slow-mo visions of John, the bunny, and screen shots of Con Air pan across the screen while the song "How Do I Live" beings to play. Actually it began to play at the beginning of the animation...but the singing started about here.
".... oh my gawd..."
This is a "do not want" reaction that we see from baby Rose as John forces the dirty bunny onto her.
"This song...not this song *covers ears*"
John shoves the bunny at baby Rose, sending Has Mom's Hair Baby Rose flying.
"omaigawdjohn"
Unnamed Troll watches these events play out. The expression on his face makes me want to replace "events" in the prior sentence with "idiocy"
"ehe...ehehe....ehehe"
Poor baby Jade makes the mistake of looking like she also wanted something. John graces her with another bunny in a rather visually violent action.
"*facepalm*"
Unnamed Troll graces us again with his presence again. This time he's pounding on his own head.
"I feel your pain, man...feel your pain!"
...
" 8I What?...omaigawd...LMFAO! I can't believe I'm SEEING this! JOHN! OMG!"
...words' cannot express what anyone's feeling anymore... This expression replicates mine perfectly...except for the frequent bursts of giggles.
" ....ehehe...ohgawd..."
Some other things happened, but I'm posting a lot of pictures so now I'm going to be more selective. Now we're seeing John as our Con Air protagonist, playing some sick chords for the sick guitar solo.
"JOHN! OMGSTOP! I'M GOING TO DIE!"
Thankfully, that final one was the end of the animation...to be honest, when I first watched the animation I almost had tears streaming down my face I was laughing so hard. What a fantastic way to end an act *sniffle*
...or so I thought...
More of the trolls decide that they need to harass the other kids before we can actually conclude this chapter. The best, of course, is Tavros "trolling" Jade. He doesn't even "troll" her. He isn't even trying. He's actually acting kinda nice towards her... I'm almost confused. Maybe this is another reason why he's such a terrible troll. In any case, I still find him adorable.
THE END OF ACT 4...OMG FINALLY!
Little did I know last time that when I finished reading Homestuck for the night, I was literally one animation and one page away from the actual end of the act T_T *sigh* In whatever case, I shall still reflect on this tiny portion. Okay, well actually I guess this will only be the reaction of the animation.
As usual, so much stuff happens in so little time, that by the time the animation's done, I'm clueless about what I've just seen. What I did catch though, was a lot of Rose and Dave fighting, the baby kids are transported who knows where (somewhere away from John and his Con Air antics), Jack Noir killed a bunch of soilders, we saw WV, Dream Jade was trying to wake up Dream John while a comet is hurdling toward (the dream world??), by the looks of things Dream Jade is destroyed or killed (this is only speculation), Bro cuts a different comet in half, and a battle between Bro and Jack ensues.
The animation was cool enough, I just wish I understood what was happening. In whatever case, let us continue to Act 5, the act of ridiculous length (I can only assume since it sounds like we're going to get a face full of the 12 trolls and their lives).
Act 5, Part 1
As we open Act 5, we begin with WV *awwww!* but now he's in new garb. Well, not so much "new." It's the wraps of cloth we're used to seeing him in (without the squid print), but it's new compared to his farmer's outfit he was sporting during the battle. He flashes back to just after the battle when he rips a doll (which strikingly resembles Jack) and then finds a "cloth of souls," which he uses as his new robe. At this time, I also notice his surroundings look a lot like the place we were originally introduced to the exiles. It seems the unnamed troll was right about the exiles wandering around a vacant and destroyed human world.
We then jump to Dream John, standing over a dead Dream Jade. D: NOOO! Without the slightest hint of remorse over his lost friend, John scavenges Jade's body for the (White Queen's) ring, places it on his own finger, and runs off.
PM graces us once again, but like WV before her, is now in a somewhat familiar garb with the subtle change of color (here it's yellow instead of white) and also like WV before her, we catch a glimpse of a flashback. In this one, we see her kill a dude who resembles the Spades fellow, and she hands over the White royalty's crowns to Jack in exchange for the green package. With an expression of either anger or annoyance (as much of an intense expression as an exile can can express), she finds John, delivers the package, and leaves. What will she do from here? One can only guess! Will she keep delivering the mail now that the majority of the population is dead? Will her determined work-a-holic attitude in this suddenly barren land drive her to insanity? So much so that she will be forced to write letters from imaginary people to other imaginary people? Just so she can't experience the thrill of delivering mail? I guess we will find out...whenever the next page with her on it comes up *shrugs* What? You thought I knew the answers to those questions? Pshhhh, you give me too much credit.
John, whom has finally received to message thanks to the ever so dedicated PM, reads the letters included with the mystery item we have yet to see. One is from Jade, explaining this dream world to him and that it is now in trouble, and the other is from a third person; a "pen pal" as Jade refers to him. We, or at least I, have no idea who he is or who he could possibly be, hopefully we find out soon, but according to him, whatever is in the package was his idea...okay. Johns wraps up reading Jade's letter with a tear falling from his eye... and here I assumed he wasn't even fazed when he took the ring from her dead body, shame on me!
Oh shit! As John suddenly begins to morn over the loss of his friend, Jack Noir decides to interrupt the tender moment with his sword, in Johns face, demanding possession of John's newly grave-theft ring. You know, this guy's really starting to irritate me. He's kinda a huge jerk. You remember earlier when I referred to Dad and (Dave?) riding the respect train? Yeah, well pretty sure Jack needs to be on the tracks of that train. He needs to be bowled over by that respect train, preferably by someone who ends up on the respect train, otherwise my metaphor is going to fall apart TT3TT... I just realized, wasn't Jack fighting Bro earlier? What the... I guess we'll find out sooner or later. In any case, we leave Jack Noir facing off with a cyborg rabbit mutant thing who has taken a liking to John or something...I don't even know.
AR is a difficult individual to follow. When we first meet him, we don't even catch on that he's AR until the text refers to him as "AR(?)" He starts off as some regulator-I-stick-to-the-rules type of guy, but through his adventures of regulating rules, he finds a hover board and (despite his obsession with following rules) decides to give it a go. The results of this? Well, as we rejoin AR, he is wrapping himself in "caution tape," probably to symbolize his new found rebel side. He now regards himself as a renegade. Yep, that's the AR we remember.
The series continues, somehow Dad, Mom, and the Grandfather are in the dream world. How the hell did THIS happen? First PM is able to jump between the human and dream worlds, now the guardians? *facepalm* I don't even!
Grandfather drops off his two traveling companions, but picks up the dead Dream Jade body, and takes it with him as we ventures off with his ship and a sick and twisted tradition is kept when we see Grandfather shedding a tear over his newly taxidermied Dream Jade.... O_O .... this weirds me out. I'm just going to click on the next page...ok?...ok....
Luckily we jump to the White Queen... Wait, "luckily"? That's not right. I have no sense of emotion towards the White Queen. She really hasn't done anything to be likable...let alone really doing anything at all. But she does turn herself into an exile, probably from self pity for not being able to protect her kingdom.
Years into the future, as the four exiles are conversing or just standing there, it's hard to tell. I wish to point out that WV and PM's outfits have both faded to a dull grey color, but AR's "caution" tape is still a vibrant yellow...but I digress. WV, being the awesome dude he is, pulls out a familiar ring from under the tape wrapped around his knife. How did WV wind up with one of the rings? The last I could remember Jack and John were "currently" in possession of the rings. So either WV was bad ass and beat the shit out of Jack (which I highly doubt, since I assume Jack's still wreaking havoc) or he got it from John...Maybe we'll find out?
Speaking of the devil, my question is answered almost the instant after I ask it. We jump to John, holding the ring in the palm of his hand as he witnesses the future of WV holding the ring in a similar fashion. So I'm assuming this answers the question. I tend to forget Homestuck doesn't like to follow simple logic.
Then we are again recapped on the past events. From this I have learned.
The 8 babies that John cloned? The 4 kids and their guardians. Problem. Baby Jade, and other baby Jade...Jade's guardian? Grandfather (or I assume so). Someone has some explaining to do.
Ugh, the land the exiles are running around in? Called Skaia (isn't that the name of the game or some system or something computerized from the series?). That...is NOT... the human world...not even a destroyed human world. Stupid unnamed troll trying to confuse everyone and junk.
Oh great, about those kids. Okay, my original thought for the guardians was: Mom, Dad, Bro, Grandpa. I was wrong, turns out it's: Mom, NANNA, Bro, Grandpa. That's an odd turn of events that doesn't make any sense, imagine that.
Correction: Dream world comet, actually the dream world moon.
Exiles: They do wind up on earth, through whatever means that make no sense to me....
After the recap, we are introduced to a new planet called ALTERNIA and the ACTUAL Act 5, aka Hivebent. *sigh* Such frustrations will undoubtedly be experienced once again. It's only a matter of time. Now, let's be off.
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